Dear 4 year old Me,

Life is so worry-free for you right now. Cherish the moments! And enjoy that new baby brother while you can because he won't stay a baby for long and will choose to marry the love of his life when he is only 18!

By the time you are 22 (yep you make it to 22!) you will have lived and learned more lessons than you probably should have, but that is what will make your life so exciting! 

No matter how many times your parents tell you that one day you can pay Tonya back for beating up on you, and they won't punish you for it, they don't mean it! You WILL get in trouble. And it really doesn't make you feel better to finally get fed up and then push her off the front porch..in fact, you feel pretty guilty about it to this day even though it happened at 9 years old. I know you will think school is tough, and making sure your best friend invites you to her birthday party every year of elementary is the most important thing that is on your mind. However; later on down the road, a few more important things come up. Like 8th grade graduation and having to say goodbye to all the friends you grew so close to your first 14 years of life. It will be sad, and you will lose touch, but no worries! Facebook comes along a few years later and you can keep track of them all pretty well ;) 

Later you will enter High School in Spearman, even though that wasn't really your choice of school. You should really try to enjoy it more, and get grounded less! You would probably have more fun. Don't get me wrong, you will have fun anyway, but making it home a couple minutes earlier would save you some tears and boring nights at home while everyone else is enjoying themselves. You will have a lot of "firsts" in high school. First boyfriend, first tennis meet, first car (which you still have by the way), first detention (with many to follow), first homecoming, first prom, first heartbreak, first "F" on an exam, and first big solo trip which will be to Washington D.C. (don't be scared! It will be some of the best 10 days of your life.) And I know more than anything, you have the desire to get the heck out of Hansford County! Let me tell ya, you end up missing it more than you know...maybe even enough to move back one day!

After high school, you will go to college!! Yes! You get to go to the school you will want to go to around the time you are 6 years old. I'll leave that one as a surprise for you to figure out. But you learn a lot during these 4 years and you change more than you can ever imagine. You turn out to be VERY weird and GOTHIC on top of that. JUST KIDDING! You do change a lot, but not that much! Things to think about to prepare yourself for these years:

-You may think going to class isn't important, but get off your butt and go. You will regret it if you don't. Trust me on that one. 

- Try not to fight with your sister when she decides to move to school with you. You will miss her more than you think when she is gone. 

- Quit wasting your time and go get a JOB!

- Even though you love each other more than anything, it just wasn't meant to be. But try to keep your head up. At the time you will feel like everything is falling apart and you WILL feel miserable, and you will definitely miss him. Just know there are better things to come and that those 2 years spent together were not wasted years. It turns out pretty well for you :)

- You get to broadcast for National News, but try to calm your nerves! You sound kind of funny on the first newscast with a shaky voice!

- I won't spoil the surprise for you, but you succeed very well in what you end up picking for your major (even though you change it a couple times)!

-Most of all, don't be afraid to have fun and be yourself. You end up meeting great people who love you just for you! And turns out two of your best friends during your last couple years live next door to you!

I won't let you know what happens, or if you graduate. But you do have a fun time and learn a lot more than just what they teach you in class along the way. 

One more thing I want to prepare you for. You will experience some pretty heavy losses in your life. It breaks my heart even now to know the pain you will go through. 

Nobody would ever expect to lose their sister in fourth grade.

Or even 3 grandparents in the year 2001. That one is going to be tough. The ten day search for Granny and Papa is long and devastating. But try you best not to blame yourself. They wouldn't want you to. They wanted to go watch you play basketball in Gruver, but you had no control of the tragic events that follow on their helicopter ride home. So just treasure every memory you have with those two amazing people. Trust me, you will miss them EVERY single day of your life. And you will still cry thinking back on the pain you and your family went through when losing them. And you will cry when you think of your mother and the loss of her own mother and father.Your faith will be tested but you have so many supportive family and friends that are with you every day.

Then when it is Grandmother's time to go a few months later, you see death in a more rewarding light. She is finally free from suffering, but it still makes you sad to see her go. She always carried herself with poise and confidence and that is something you will always strive for.

Your first year of college you will lose the boy you have now made your boyfriend. Another tragic accident that takes a HUGE toll on your life. Again you blame yourself, but it is not your fault. His mother is hurting and has nobody else to blame for this horrible accident and the pain her 19 year old son had to go through during those last four days of his life. You will never forget him, and you won't sleep much for a while, but again you turn out okay. And someone comes along one day and rescues you from all this pain. I think that's why God put him in your life. To rescue you. That is why you will always love him.

Less than a year later, your last grandparent gets to be freed from pain. Try to go see Grandad one last time. You won't regret it! He was a mountain of a man. And your brother turns out to look just like him so you have his memory every time you see Haden. It reminds you of all the times when you were a little girl and would watch for him to come down our dirt road every day so you could climb up on his lap and find a Saf-T-Pop sucker hidden in his shirt pocket just for you!

You will also lose a friend in high school, and an elementary teacher, but with communities pulled together, you all make it through. 

You may not end up turning out how your parents wanted you to, but you are happy. And let's face it kiddo...that's all that really matters in life. Thank your parents more often, and try to follow the rules. There are moments you will think that life is miserable, and there will be moments you think life is great. You will always have good stories to tell along the way and a great memory to make them feel all the more real.

Cherish all your precious moments. And take as many pictures as you can....who knows, you may end up loving taking pictures and make it a personal business! ;) Never know if maybe one day you find out how cool it is to be behind the lens!

Don't worry about what others think. Dare to be different, because you are! Your free spirit and big heart will get you far, even if others think it's not cool to be different!

You have a lot of great things to look forward to in your life. So go ahead with full force and enjoy it! Also brace yourself...you will face challenges and tough times but it will all work out for you! By the time you are 22 you will still have a lot of unanswered questions about your future, but that's why it is the future. Just live for now..for the present. And trust that you do turn out alright. Just a few words of advice so you can enjoy your future more than you already will! You make a lot of mistakes but it all leads you to THIS MOMENT in your life. So just do your best and learn from the bad....and you will be alright!

Love, 

Me at 22 years old

P.S. Don't run into that girl in the basketball tournament before your Junior year of high school. It will really put a damper on things when you end up in a huge boot for 6 months and physical therapy and problems for the next two years!

"Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places." - Anonymous

Photography

Decided to start posting all my photography on here so everyone can see some of my work in big photographs. For now I'll just do a few of my favorites, then from here on out I will post all my sessions! Enjoy :)

Final Project for ENGL 3309

Summer Lovin'

It has been a while...but a lot has happened since the last time I posted a new blog! 

My summer is off to a busy start! Other than the unreal heat wave that has come over Lubbock, Tx, I would not have even known it was summer! I have not been to a pool, or to sip on margaritas with my friends, and didn't even make it home for wheat harvest this year. My days have been filled with school, work, and more school. All that ends soon, though. I FINALLY get to graduate August 6th and will be done with school forever! I absolutely cannot wait. 

I get to start a new chapter in my life, and for once I really think I'm ready. I get to move closer to home and close the door to my life in Lubbock. I have so many memories that I will never forget coming from my college years and so many people that have come and gone in my life that I will always be thankful for knowing.  My last few months here have been a bit of a roller coaster ride, but anyone who knows me, knows that it is nothing out of the ordinary for me! I'm always running and gunning to get things done (preferably when and how I want them done). But I have learned that demanding things my way all the time often gets you the opposite results you hoped for....but then life goes on! And you pick up where you left off and get right back in there and keeping running and gunning for the things that are important. 

I am excited to see what the next step in my life has in store for little ol' me, but in the meantime I am a bit jealous of all my friends who are having awesome summers and getting to do many summer things. I envy you. Almost hate you! I would love to just be able to have a few days where school and work disappeared and I can join you, buuuut there will be no such luck. So, in the meantime, I will be staring at your summer fun pictures and wish I could have been there with you! 

Just a random add-in. One thing I remember most about childhood summers was something I still think everyone should do. Make homemade popsicles! Even if it's just the simple Ice Tray popsicles. It brings memories flooding back from my childhood. Some of the most fun was waiting in anticipation while our favorite kool-aid flavors were turning into frozen treats! And you can always add in fruit or candy and all kinds of fun stuff. (I'm hoping to try some vodka additive for a more adult popsicle)  ;)

Just remember to never take a day for granted. It's summer time and there is a lot of fun to be had, so if possible, go out and have it! I know I should listen to my own advice, but I really don't have the time. So if anything do it for me!!! You never know, one day you may look back on Summer of 2011 and find a way to make it a hit song. Just take that cue from Bryan Adams (Summer of 69).

If you need a little motivation, I have here a very short list of fun summer songs to listen to!

Summer of 69-Bryan Adams

The Boys of Summer-Don Henley or The Ataris

No Shoes, No Shirt, No problems-Kenny Chesney

Six Pack Summer-Phil Vassar

Summer Nights-Lil Rob (oh those awesome Junior High days!)

Groovy Little Summer Song-James Otto

Knee Deep-Zac Brown Band

All Summer Long-Kid Rock

Summer Girls-LFO (you know you love it! and RIP lead singer guy)

That Summer-Garth Brooks

Strawberry Wine-Deana Carter

P.S. Please don't let your sun tan turn out like these!

Just Haven't Met You Yet

Engagement photo I took for my sister and brother-in-law

A friend of mine is struggling with the fact that she is 25 and newly single. The pressures of today's society and the thought of her friends and family all getting married around her has begun to worry her of her future. I do have the reputation as the "go-to girl" for a bunch of my friends when seeking advice. I'm not sure why, but I take this role on as if it were as important as anything else. I reassured her that at her young age there is nothing to worry about. We have all been there and felt the same way and the feeling passes. She, however, has been feeling this way for a few months and is very agitated about it. I gave her a section out of a book one of my cousins introduced me to a while back. There is a letter excerpt that a girl writes to her future love and it is a pretty cool way to look at the situation. Some may think it's cheesy, but I gave this quote to my friend and it made her smile instantly. She asked if I could post this on my blog, so here I am! I think single guys and girls both can kind of relate to the situation and should always have this kind of outlook on their lives. You are never too old to accomplish things. And at this day and age, the pressure can get tough but everything happens for a reason and in its own time. No need to rush or feel less than adequate at what you are doing. Things happen when you least expect it....so if you really want to find that person...quit looking! Quit expecting it! Trust me, it works. It has happened to me..and I know many others who agree =) The excerpt from that letter in the book is posted below. Enjoy! Hope you all have a great day.

 

"I'm already in love with you, I can already smell your cologne and know your sweet heart, I know your the man I have been praying for and the man God has single handedly picked out for me. You don't know me yet, I don't know u either but I know the second we meet it will be the start of forever. So wait for me as I'm waiting for you because I'm coming."

What's new with 22?

My neighbors (Hunter and Garrett) and I

One of my friends from high school commented on how I hadn't written a blog in about a month, so I decided to take time out of my busy school schedule to do so! 

In just a few days I will be turning 22. To me this has no great significance. In fact, it is just another year closer to 30. Not that it is a bad thing, I would just rather stay 21 forever! Being 21 brought me many memories, good and bad. But mostly good! I cannot imagine being in a happier place in my life at the moment. I've learned a lot about myself and met some pretty amazing people along the way. 

Since I turned 21:

I got to go to the beach for the first time.

I got to go to Vegas! (not for the first time, but it was my first time going as a LEGAL adult)

I got to finally buy my first bottle of wine!

I became extremely close with my neighbors who turned out to be extraordinary guys and great friends. 

I got to be the girl standing closest to my sister as I watched her marry the man of her dreams. 

I will soon be an Aunt to my first nephew that will be joining my two adorable nieces. 

I filed my intent to graduate.

I figured out that going home is the perfect escape to the busy school life (even though I couldn't wait to leave when I was 18)

I reconnected with old friends, and made a lot of new along the way.

I lost 35 pounds...and counting!

I figured out its okay to go with the flow and quit trying to plan every detail of my life out.

I managed to do even better in all my classes than ever before.

I started my photography passion into a personal non-professional business and love it very much.

I got to watch my brother's very last basketball game ever after watching him for 13 years. 

I got to camp out in Raiderville. 

I laughed a lot.

I cried a lot.

I smiled a lot. 

But most importantly...I learned a lot. About myself, about life, and about my friends.

This year has brought many milestones that I consider to be huge impacts in my life. People I will never forget, and moments I will always cherish. For that, I thank all those people for bringing that light in my life. I may not know where I'm going..but I know where I've been. And I know that no matter what, each day is a blessing and I will continually enjoy them. I want to laugh more than ever before, and can't wait to see what the next year will bring my friends and family. Everything happens so quickly. I know that now because of hindsight, but will be more careful now to enjoy every great moment I live in. 

So what is new with 22? Right now, I feel like it will just be another day in the life of this girl. But after seeing all the great things that come in one year...I have big plans for 22. I just don't know what they are yet. I have a feeling they will be amazing though :) 

“And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.” -- Abraham Lincoln

We Miss You

10 years ago today, my two favorite people in the world took their last helicopter flight away from my basketball game. They weren't just MY grandparents...they were EVERYONE'S Granny and Papa. They flew to all of our basketball games and were well known by everyone in my community. All my friends knew them as "Granny and Papa" and would ask if "Granny and Papa" were flying down from Amarillo to watch us play. 

I remember this day like it was yesterday. And I remember vividly our pastor, Mike Martin, telling Papa to be careful going home. To that Papa responded with "We always are! Don't worry about us." We went to eat at CJ's Pizza in Gruver and Granny made sure to write down everything I wanted for my 12th birthday coming up. She was known to spoil us, and yes, we took FULL advantage of that when we decided what to ask for when our birthdays were coming up. We dropped them off at the little Gruver airport where they left their helicopter during the game and then about the time we got to our house, we saw their lights up against the stars as they circled our country home and told us "goodbye" in their own way for the last time. That would be the last time I ever saw these two amazing people. The next morning all the lights were on the house and my dad was awake before I was. So I knew what was coming. They didn't make it home. But we had to continue on to school that day. And it was tough. I think about them every single day and wish they could still be here with us. The ten days it took to find them were torturous for me and the rest of my family. The basketball tournament that next weekend was held in their honor and they were finally found before the tournament ended. Such a bittersweet moment that I will never forget.

They always told my mom not to worry if they passed away while flying. Because if they did, they would be going away together and going away doing something they loved. And that they did. On Amarillo.com you can still see the articles and the headline that sticks out the most to me is one that says "Randall Couple Died Doing What They Loved." So we wouldn't have it any other way. Just wish we could steal some more time with them. They have missed weddings and graduations and many stepping stones from which we feel a void without them. But I know that somehow they see us, and are smiling right along with us! We love you Granny and Papa...and miss you every day!

"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." ~ Helen Keller